This year the Case Studies segment was changed to a focus group format. Four breakout groups met and discussed their assigned hypothetical situation. After a time of discussion, the groups reconvened and reports were given by each group.
Ryan and Amber have been attending your services for a while. You know they are unmarried, but living together. You’ve been building a relationship with them, wanting to eventually share with them that their relationship is not God’s ideal. Before you have arrived at the point when you feel you can talk about this, they indicate they want to join the church.
There was a time when couples that lived together, without getting married, never set foot in the church. Then we saw an era in which those couples began to want church weddings, even though they didn’t attend. Then these types of couples began regularly attending services. Now you see these couples want to be baptized and join the church. There are other Ryans and Ambers in your services.
Everyone else who is baptized is imperfect. But sexual sin is very serious, and the cause of so much trouble in our society.
What do you do?
From time to time the Eldership has the same conversation. Some feel that there should be some mandatory time off for an Elder. He should sit out a year. Comments are made that this might anger some Elders. Others respond that if an Elder is angered by this, that’s a red flag about his personality.
Others feel that as long as there isn’t a huge problem, men should be able to have consecutive terms. Otherwise their counsel would be missed, in addition to their not being enough qualified and willing candidates. Others point out that this would mean that if someone was a problem you might never move him out of the Eldership.
How should Elder terms be structured?
A number of newer families have been joining your congregation. Few of the long time members take the time to get to know them. Established members tell you they know a lot of the new people won’t stay around, and therefore don’t bother to make the effort. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as some of these people move on since they don’t feel accepted.
Other newer members do stick around. When leadership positions open up, many leaders are reluctant to allow the newer people much of a voice. Many times they are locked out of leadership positions because We don’t really know them. They aren’t well known, because few have made the effort to include them.
How do you motivate long time members to be more accepting?
Tom and Mary have been a part of your congregation for many years. They’ve had some recent disappointments with the church, and have been vocal about. You have been working to maintain a relationship with them, not wanting to write them off. You feel they could still be a positive part of the congregation.
After you have not seem them for about a month, you give Tom and Mary a call. They tell you they received a letter from someone in the leadership, telling them they should find another church. They will not tell you who sent the letter.
What do you do?
Return to Home Page